Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
