stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
