so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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