just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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