i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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