I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
