I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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