why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
