why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
