there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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