Apparently you make a good broom.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize