Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
