I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
