That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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