so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize