i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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