yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
