We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
