Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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