i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
