The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
