You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize