Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
