But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
