Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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