I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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