So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
