do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
