I CAN MOONWALK!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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