First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We're too hungover to prance.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i out mim tonsoeep
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
