I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
