i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
