so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
