I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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