we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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