There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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