my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
