My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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