she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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