I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
