i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
