Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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