dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
