The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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