you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
