Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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