the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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