i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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