So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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