I heard we made out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
