i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize