Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
