I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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