Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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