Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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