the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
