i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
