Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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