I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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