he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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