i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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