Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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